Walmart Gives 50% of Profits To Trump 2020 Campaign

Walmart USA and its founders, the Walton family, have taken a cue from Home Depot and will do their part to ensure the continued presidency of Donald Jebidiah Trump. In an explosive announcement today, Walmart CEO, Jim Walton, pledged half of the company’s profits to the President’s re-election.

More specifically, he said, they will donate “half the company’s service profits from a sixty-fourth of one quarter of a sixteenth of quarter two’s first ninety-sixth period of fiscal 2019″…… the Trump 2020 campaign.

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This is extraordinary. For a company as humongous as Walmart to pledge 50% of profit of any kind is unheard in this country. But then, we now have an extraordinary leader who is worthy of extraordinary efforts from the extraordinary elites of the country who we adore and admire as our betters, sometimes – when we’re smart – electing them to the highest office in the land.

This may perhaps merely be a case of one billionaire “one upping” another as this announcement came so soon after a similar one from one of the Home Depot founders yesterday.

Maybe it’s ego that drove the Waltons to make this pledge, maybe it’s nothing more than pure, unadulterated patriotism. Whatever the case, their donations, along with those of any other billionaires who see an opportunity to have their taxation rate eliminated, will be much appreciated by Republicans nationwide.